Posts (page 2)

i think he is beautiful...and i wish he would believe me.
and more than anything i wish he would believe in love.
cause it is real. and it does exist.

kissing in the rain.
matching sweaters.
late night adventures.
sharing soymilk from the same glass.
painting on each other.
drinking at a bar.
reading to each other.
goodnight kisses on the forehead.

gosh.

when is it my turn?

i would have been degraded
if only i had some worth
but ive been nothing, no nothing at all
since i arrived at birth

ive only existed to be
the scum that lies beneath
your quickly moving feet
you dont notice whats underneath
no, you dont notice me

i grope in darkness with no light
like a drunkard i stagger around
ive been plunged into a slimepit
i always look towards the ground
and you, your never around

even my clothes detest me
i cannot regain my breath
and im overwhelmed with misery
and now i hope for death

but the stars shine brightly for me
because the sun i cant stand to see
but id rather lay in the lonely grey
of the sun on a cloudy day
my life is better that way.

the sound of broken records, crying and drinking one more
plays such a sweet melody inside of me
i cry out of sadness but it makes me happy
i cry and it...makes me happy

i dread the day you ask me
to place my hand in yours
youll hold me like a handful of dirt
because thats all im worth
thats how ive been since birth

oh im not like the faint fevers of the day.
the fevers that fade with doctors notes and rest.
im the fever that burrows into your cheeks making them red.
the fever that comes in the deep of the night giving your face color.
and heat. and shades and pixels of reds, maroons and pinks.

im that fever that makes you weak, and drained.
but its at a time where you needed to be slowed down anyway.
the fever that makes you thirst for cold water and ice.
the fever that makes your homely bed become a casket.
a grave that you would slowly drop into.
sink...sink..sinking...... my love...
i have pushed you into these symptoms..
and you fall wildy and blindly into the night..
and into the fever..
but do not be afraid.
i have pushed you and i will catch you.
even though i jump with you...
i fall much faster...for my heart is much heavier.
and your fevers have made you light...

but once you have dropped into the muddy soil of my feverish sickness..
you will find cool air...steady breathes.. darkness...
and in the darkness fevers wouldnt matter...
your fevered cheek would only match the tempeture of our passion..
as it rose higher and higher..our bodies become hotter and hotter..
and now i...the fever that you cant get rid of, has caught the fever you had..
the fever of foreign soils and untouchable passions.
oh we are both now, so sick with fever. we cannot rid it.
and we dont care to. because the fever is apart of our hearts.
look in the mirror..... we are the lucky ones to have our pale faces
colored with such reds...shame on us for we dont deserve it..
but blesssed we are that our empty pages have been filled with colors...
and heat...untouchable as the fever is...we feel it..

and for all the lovers that have enchanted your body before me..
dont quite leave the marks i leave.
they bite your neck and scratch your back..
you tremble.
they leave the dust of soft kisses.
but ill stain you.
like grenadine stains spilled on a soft white cotton sheet.
something bleach cant get out.
i run thick.. spilling down your body in a slow but steady current.
i taste sweet. and if mixed with the right potions. ill make you feel drunk.
and the next morning, its my sweet thickness youll still taste on your lips.
the dust of other lovers soft kisses will be blown away..
the bite marks and scratches will heal and fade.
grenadine. on soft white sheets.

thats me.

oh these thousands of miles and the skies look the same
what a great lie to tell, that out of state they change
the sun is still bright and blinding
when i wish all its burning would fade
to leave the skies dotted with stars and darkness
so that i can peacefully lay
oh but now idaho skies are dark and still
blackness bellows from the soil
no moon, no light, just travelling by night
my heart be still. be still.
im not looking for a break in the trees
or a faint glow in the sky
the sun is hiding behind the moutains
shes more flattering when she plays shy.
the mountains intimidate the houses below
but those mountains are no equal to my love
its bigger and growing, it pours and keeps flowing
into the boy im thinking of

i just want to crawl into my dirty bed
get some pure sleep and rest my heavy head
i wont get far if this weeping wont stop
my body feels dried up but its obviously not

wash the alcohol out of my hair im such a lush
wash my face cause these eyes have seen too much
with reds and pinks and my mascaras black
my face painted like a painters last

as he throws around the paint so aimlessly
he doesnt care cause now hes so old you see
his younger passions have all faded, but he at least he tried
with his paints all dried up, the painter is dead inside

he lost his sense of color like i lost my sense of worth
he feels blind like he saw black coming into this earth
like i have when someone is standing next to me
cause im a leper i dont belong to beauty

and he is blind and i am weak and together were a mess
but my old notes and his old smears are getting a second chance
who said messes cant become beautiful
with my worn down strings and his painter brush so dull

so here we are me and him making art once again
wether its smearing paint across a canvas
or the ringing sound of Dm sadness
its all the same and new to me and him
two saddened souls making a new... begining.